


Unanswered Questions

by Elle0555



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 04:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3596187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle0555/pseuds/Elle0555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(one shot)</p>
<p>Aaron & Robert's thoughts and questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unanswered Questions

ROBERT 

it was a dark and windy night, rain hammering down against the window, thoughts flying round Robert's head, hands clasped around a whiskey glass which had been refilled to many times to remember, sitting in the kitchen on the most uncomfortable bar stool ever, eerie silence filling the house, unable to force himself to go up to bed and listen to the light snoring that came from his wife, only thinking about one person,the person he constantly thinks about these days, what was he doing? was he even awake? does he miss me?  
Robert knew his answer to that last question, i miss him, i want him, i wanna feel his touch, hear his voice see his eyes but i can't, i made my choice and Aaron wasn't part of that, I've got everything I've always wanted, the wife, the house a great job and ready made family, so why am i unhappy, why do i feel lonely, why cant i shake the feelings i have for the person that's not in my bed but who i want there so badly, why did i even come back here? all the questions Robert repeats to himself remain unanswered and it confuses him even more, it took one person to turn Roberts life upside down and into chaos, why did he go looking for this? was he not normal? why cant chrissie be enough for him? was she ever enough for him? if Robert was completely honest with himself she hadn't been enough for ages, he hadn't wanted her for ages and she was starting to pick up on it. was he pushing her away on purpose? Robert couldn't answer that question but he knew he couldn't carry on living like this, losing the house and money didn't seem to bother him anymore it was worthless to him without happiness, the materialistics meant nothing anymore, everything meant nothing anymore, did chrissie mean nothing anymore? 

 

AARON

it was pitch black in Aaron's room only the glow from the moon giving off any kind of light, still waiting for sleep to take over so he could stop thinking for a while, listening to the rain which was getting heavier by the minute wondering how he ever got here, how he ever allowed himself to get here, he was in too deep and he knew it, his feelings were that strong he needed to end it, but everyday since just got worse and worse, the things that interested him no longer did, he'd work, sleep, run and repeat and that was his life, he wasn't happy in himself, he couldn't remember the last time he genuinely smiled but he could remember who put that smile on his face. was he wrong to end things? did Robert feel the same way? what was Robert doing? did he think about him? how did i let myself fall in love with someone who is attached? why did Robert let me fall in love with him? why cant i get him out of my head? this was never suppose to happen. he was never suppose to get under my skin and into my heart, to fall in love with someone and them not love you back is torture, the pain i feel is torture, im falling apart and he put me here, why cant i hate him? why cant i despise him? why cant i do anything but love him?

 

ROBERT

As the wind whistled around the giant house Robert couldn't control the urge he was feeling, the thing he needed, or rather the person he needed consumed all his thoughts. day and night he was there, happy or sad. he was there, Aaron was always there in his head unable to shake him no matter how hard Robert tried, he'd pray for a distraction a moment of silence no thoughts or questions but he never got it, Aaron stayed firmly on his mind 24/7 and it was becoming unbearable, he wanted to be thinking about his wife the memories they have and the good times to come, the life they shared, but he couldn't or somewhere deep down he didn't want to, instead he'd think about Aaron and the first kiss they shared or the first night they stayed together, Robert would think about the look in Aaron's eyes when he told him he loved him, everything in Roberts life seemed to revolve around Aaron yet they hadn't seen each other in almost a month, it never changed the fact that Aaron was constantly on Roberts mind.

 

AARON

As the rain finally started to ease Aaron looked out his window for any signs of damage that the wind created. looking up at the sky, darkness still all around he thought how his mind matched the weather dark and destructive, his mood calm yet edgy, how he wished Robert was standing next to him, with his stupid smile and cocky attitude, how he wishes he never returned from France, but most of all how he wished Robert reciprocated his feelings, if only it was that easy, Aaron wanted the fairy tale ending not that he would say it out loud, he wanted to feel loved and needed, he wanted forever, he wanted Robert.

ROBERT

the need took over and Robert found himself reaching in his pocket in search for his phone dying to hear his voice, even Aaron's voice-mail message would satisfy him right now.  
the feelings he was experiencing were ones he never knew existed, he never knew why they were happening now, or where they even came from, did he always have them? he only knew he needed to give in to them to feel some kind of release, to feel something other than misery. he needed contentment, he needed honesty, he needed Aaron. 

 

AARON

As Aaron got back into bed unsettled and lonely wishing Robert was beside him he couldn't help but think what if, what if Robert never got married, what if Robert had feelings what if Robert loved him, what if they were together the thoughts only made Aaron upset and lonelier than he'd felt in months, he was tired of feeling lonely, tired of feeling rejected, tired of pretending he was ok, he was sick of it, he was left out in the cold,he watched the color drain from Roberts face when he told him he loved him, he watched the man he loved marrying someone else and get the happy ending, he watched as Robert played happy families wishing he could swap places with chrissie, he watched as Robert walked away without so much as a goodbye making Aaron feel like Robert ended it instead of him, he wanted it all to stop to feel normal again, he wanted to be happy.

 

ROBERT

Scrolling through the contacts on his phone,hands shaking. till he reached Aaron's, would he even answer when he saw it was Robert calling? was he even awake? either way he had to find out he needed to, what do i say to him if he answers? will he just hang up? why am i so nervous? every fiber of Robert needed to do this, he had to do this, confess his feelings, to tell Aaron how much hes missed him, how much he thinks about him, how much of a asshole he's been, how only now in the dark of night at 3am in the morning he'd finally admitted to himself how much Aaron means to him, how he cant live without him anymore, how he would leave this life behind in a second if only given the chance, how much he realized he needed him, how he finally realized just how much he loves him, he took a deep breathe and pressed call.

 

ROBERT: Aaron please don't hang up.  
AARON: why are you calling me rob its 3 in the morning, why aint you in bed with your wife?  
ROBERT:i just wanted to talk to you, couldn't sleep, how are you?  
AARON:how am i? how do ya think i am? im on top of the world mate, couldn't be better what do you think, what do you really want Robert? its late.  
ROBERT:i told you i couldn't sleep just fancied a chat  
AARON: i don't believe you rob you've got 20 seconds to tell me what you really want or im hanging up.  
ROBERT: someones not happy are they?  
AARON: who would be happy when they get a call at 3 in the morning and ya 20 seconds is up, see ya Robert.  
ROBERT:no Aaron wait, please i do wanna tell you something i just don't know how.  
AARON:just spit it out, its not difficult what is it?  
ROBERT:i miss you.  
AARON:is that it? you miss me?  
ROBERT:not the reaction i was hoping for Aaron, i cant stop thinking about you.  
AARON:why are you doing this rob its not fair, you cant play with my feelings like this its cruel im not a game you know.  
ROBERT: im not playing Aaron im deadly serious i cant get you out of my head i feel lost.  
AARON: im suppose to believe all this am i? you don't do feelings rob you made that pretty clear this is not a love story remember?  
ROBERT: i got scared when you told me you loved me it became to real to fast and i freaked out i never wanted to hurt you Aaron i just panicked and did what i do best push people away, i wish i didn't but i did and i regret it everyday.  
AARON: where has all this come from? do you have feelings for me Robert?  
ROBERT:the last month not seeing you has done my head in the phrase you don't know what you've got till its gone applies here, i thought about you non stop and i realized i do have feelings but its more than that.  
AARON:i cant believe your saying all this now, its too late Robert do you know how much you hurt me?  
ROBERT: i love you Aaron I think i always have and it scares the shit out of me but there it is i cant deny it anymore i don't wanna live without you anymore.  
AARON: this cant be real you cant be saying you love me after all this time no feelings nothing then all of this i cant deal with this right now.  
ROBERT: do you still love me?  
AARON: you don't even have to ask me that you know the answer, I've never stopped but it still changes nothing.  
ROBERT: why does it change nothing? I've just told you i love you Aaron that's gotta change something surely.  
AARON: things are still the same except the fact you love me, it don't change who you are what you've got your married Robert.  
ROBERT: what if i wasn't?  
AARON: but you are.  
ROBERT: im leaving her Aaron im gonna ask her for a divorce.  
AARON: you cant be serious rob? what are you saying?  
ROBERT: im saying i wanna be with you, i wanna wake up next to you build a life with you, i just want you Aaron  
AARON: who are you? and what have you done with Robert Sugden?  
ROBERT: im still me it just took me a while to figure out who and what makes me happy and that's you i can be myself around you and you don't judge me you listen to me you make me wanna be a better person you make me better i cant live my life without you in it your it for me Aaron Livesy like im it for you.  
AARON: this is really what you want though rob? because things are gonna get messy, we can just pretend this conversation never happened and you can go back to your life with chrissie.  
ROBERT: i cant do that Aaron its not fair on her anymore i cant pretend shes what i want she deserves someone who can give her everything she wants and i thought that was me it used to be me but its not me not anymore.  
AARON: ok then im in i wanna be with you i love you. are you gonna be ok with everyone knowing though?  
ROBERT: its not gonna be easy but as long as your by my side it will be alright, ill be alright im tired of living a lie i just wanna be happy i didn't plan to fall in love with someone else and ill never be sorry but i did and i wouldn't change it for the world i wouldn't change you for the world Aaron im sorry it took so long for me to realize.  
AARON: better late then never rob.  
ROBERT: we will be ok though right?  
AARON: course we will you Muppet as long as we are honest and stick together and we love each other everything will be fine i promise.  
ROBERT:i love you Aaron Livesy you changed my life you turned it upside down but im glad you did.  
AARON: i love you too rob i got my man in the end.


End file.
